Lets get the technical details out of the way.  Since the middle of June, I’ve been saving as many tweets as I can to local storage, using Twitter’s streaming API and my gardenhose access.  Sorry, Cloudera guys, I’m not yet using flume, but it’s high on the to-do list.  Using a 3-node cluster, I’m able to search through these tweets and extract valuable(?) data in a matter of minutes.

The pig script(Sorry, looks like gist.github.com doesn’t auto-format pig):

And now the fun stuff. I found over 31,000 different hashtags containing the f-word.  Bonus to the first person who can tell me what GFW is.
The top-ten results and the frequency of their mentions are:

#fuck	10406
#fuckouttahere	3172
#fuckinfollow	3062
#fuckit	2970
#fuckyou	2303
#fuckgfw	1573
#fuckyeah	1551
#fuckery	1436
#fucking	1273
#fuckoff	988

Lets move on to what’s really important-celebrities, sports figures, and other important American topics:

Lady Gaga

#dontfuckwiththegaga	11
#fuckthegagahaters	4
#fuckgaga	3
#fuckladygaga	3
#dontfuckwithgaga	2
#fuckmegaga	2
#fucktrannygaga	1

Obama

#fuckobama	7
#dontfuckwithobama	2
#fuckyouobama	1
#fuckbarackobama	1
#fucking_twat_obama	1
#obamabrieflymadefuckedmeover	1

taxes

#fucktaxes	5
#blackpeopleneverpaybillsfuckinuptaxescredit	1
#fuckingtaxes	1

The NY Yankees

#fucktheyankees	31
#fuckyankees	3
#fuckdayankees	1
#fuckyouyankees	1

The Red Sox

#fucktheredsox	2
#fuckredsox	1
#fuckredsoxfans	1
#fucktheredsoxs	1
#ifuckinghaaaateredsoxanddavidortizandhisslowfatassshouldveputarodinmaybewouldvewon	1
#fucktheredsoxandanybodywhoplaysforthem	1

Lakers

#fuckthelakers	279
#fucklakers	65
#teamfuckthelakers	48
#fuckdalakers	39
#fuckteamlakers	14
#teamfuckdalakers	9
#teamfuckinglakers	8
#teamfucklakers	7
#fuckyoulakers	6
...
#itsstillfucklakersalldayeverydaytillkoberetires	1
#teamidontgiveafuckaboutlakersorcelticskickrockd	1
#fuckdaflakers	1
#fuckyealakers	1
#fuckalakersfan	1
#fucklakersssss	1
#fucktheflakers	1
#fuckyourlakers	1
#fuckeverylakersfanonthegotdamnplanetcuztheyaintshitforeal	1

Celtics

#fucktheceltics	43
#fuckceltics	39
#teamfuckceltics	16
#fuckteamceltics	8
#teamfucktheceltics	5
#teammmmfuckingceltics	4
#fuckdaceltics	3
#teamfuckthecelticsandlakers	3
#fuckthemceltics	3
#fuckyouceltics	2
...
#fuckthelakersandceltics	1
#fuckyourfeelingsceltics	1
#teamcelticsallfuckingday	1
#fuckthecelticsandthehaters	1
#teamifuckinghatetheceltics	1
#fuckthelakersfucktheceltics	1
#teamfuckthecelticswith10dicks	1

Lebron

#fucklebron	366
#teamfucklebron	45
#fucklebronjames	32
#fuckyoulebron	18
#fucklebronandhisdecision	16
#fuckalebron	4
#teamfucklebronjames	4
#newyorksaysfucklebron	4
#fuckyoutolebron	3
#fucklebronforlife	2
#fucklebronbitchass	2

(many more)
...
#teamgetthefuckofflebrondickhalfofyalgotsummerschooldoyourhomeworkyoudickriders	1
#fuckouttaherelebrons	1
#fucklebronheabitchassniggaheisnotarealmanfaggotassbitchassdickridinassthatswhyhesecondtodwade	1

Haters

#fuckthehaters	67
#fuckhaters	25
#fuckyouhaters	15
#fuckinhaters	7
#fuckjlshaters	6
#fuckdahaters	6
#demihatersfuck	4
#fuckdemihaters	4

Snitches

#fucksnitches	3
#fuckinsnitches	1

and finally, who could forget J-Bieb

#fuckyoubieberisafag	126
#dontfuckwithjustinbieber	105
#fuckjustinbieber	10
#fuckbieber	10
#bieberisafagshouldshutthefuckup	6
#fuckyoubieber	6
#teamfuckbieber	5
#fuckoffbieberarmy	5
#dontfuckwithbieber	5
#biebersnewhaircutisfuckinsexysostfuitsjusthairitwillgrowbackgetafuckinlifebitches	4
#whothefuckisjustinbieber	3
#fuckingunfollowbieberarmy	3
#dontfuckwithjustinbieberslegalbeliebers	3
#ifuckbieber	2
(many many more....)
#fuckyeahjustinbiebermix	1
#fuckinunfollowbieberarmy	1
#ohmyfuckinjustinbiebergasm	1
#fuckthattinylittlebieberfag	1
#fuckyoubiebertyzasranyklamco	1
#justinbieberisafuckingpussyshit	1
#biebersafagshouldgetafuckinglife	1
#fuckyouallthehatersofjustinbieber	1
#ilovejustindrewbieberfuckwatucare	1
#fuckjustinbieberbringfalloutboyback	1
#whothefuckisstilltrendingjustinbieber	1
#youstupidbieberhatersneedafuckinglife	1
#fuckjustinbieberinhisstupidlookingbangs	1

And how about those who can’t spell Bieber?

#fuckbeiber	1
#fuckyoubeiber	1
#teamfuckbeiber	1
#fuckjustinbeiber	1
#dontfuckwithjustinbeiber	1
#fuckinwiththatjustbeiber	1
#justinbeibershouldgofuckhimself	1

We’ve got geographic locations covered as well
Jersey/New York/Philly

#fuckjerseyshore	22
#fuckphilly	7
#fucknewjersey	4
#newyorksaysfucklebron	4
#fuckthegirlswhomadejustincriedandrolledoffbackstageinnewjersey	3
#teamfuckjerseyshore	3
#jerseyfuckingshore	2
#ifuckinglovenewyork	2
#jerseyshoreisfulloffucks	2
#fuckmarryorkill	2
#fuckjersey	1
#fatitalianmufuckawitthebeardfromsouthphilly	1
#fucknewyork	1
#fuckyouphilly	1
#fuckmaryorkill	1
#fuckyounewjersey	1
#fuckjerseytransit	1
#fuckthejerseyshore	1
#ifuckinglovejersey	1
#jerseyshorefuckery	1
#fuckyounewyorkstate	1
#fuckyouphillypeople	1

France

#fuckfrance	13
#fuckyoufrance	1

Spain

#fuckspain	31
#fuckyouspain	4
#gofuckyourselfspain	3
#doublefuckspain	3
#teamfuckcaresboutspain	2
#teamfuckinspain	2
#fuckuspain	1
#fuckingspain	1

Work

#fuckwork	73
#whenthefuckamiworkingnextcauseireallyneedsomemoneyasap	6
#fuckyouwork	6
#teamfuckwork	5
#fuckfireworks	4
#fuckcoworkers	3
#fuckworking	3
#fuckbuyinfireworksbuybullets	3
#fuckingwork	3
#fuckworkofart	3
#fuckworktomorrow	3
#fuckyocoworker	2
#putthemfuckinheelsonandworkitgirl	2
#fuckhomework	2
#teamfucksleepgotoworktiredandstillgetthemoneyswag	2
#teamboredasfucktonightcauseireallydontcareaboutfireworks	2
#fuckgoingtowork	2
#fuckinwork	1
#fuckanetwork	1
#fuckfirworks	1

School

#fuckschool	80
#fucksummerschool	11
#teamfucksummerschool	10
#teamfuckschool	5
#schoolisfuckery	4
#fuckhighschool	2
#schoolfucksmylife	2
#fuckhighschoolconfessions	2
#fuckyouschool	2
#fuckkkschool	1

A great one suggested by my friend Ken

Police

#fuckthepolice	388
#fuckdapolice	102
#fuckthapolice	26
#teamfuckthepolice	8
#fuckpolice	4
#teamfuckdapolice	3
#fuckdapolicetweet	2
#fuckthepolice2010	2
#policesayfuckofftomedia	2
#fuck_the_police	1
#fuckthepolicex3	1
#fuckgrammarpolice	1
#fuckthapoliceyeah	1

Other observations:
Many more mentions of math than science OR homework
A few mentions of Lance but none of Contador

The full dataset can be downloaded here.  The top ten thousand most frequently occurring hashtags can be found here.

To-do: modify the pig script for variances of spelling the f-word, multiple u’s, etc.  Maybe even a visualization.